Tobe Steamer
Oxiclean
Kaboom
Scrubbing Bubbles Toilet Cleaning Gel
ProCaulk
Snuggi
Empire
Key Lime Cove
Feldco
These are all things, places, or services Gabe has tried to sell me in the last month or so. This morning, he asked me for the remote. He channel surfed until he found an infomercial for the Tobe Steamer. He stopped on that station, riveted at all it would do. It steams! It gets out wrinkles! It doesn’t burn clothes! It kills dust mites! It’s portable! You can take it to Grandma’s house!! DO YOU WANNA GET A TOBE STEAMER, MOM??
It’s that way for so many items advertised on television. I often overhear him singing jingles for random commercials. I’d understand it if he were singing jingles from toys or breakfast cereal. Nope. He’s singing about replacement windows and new carpet. He really wants us to buy new carpet from Empire. Buy today, installed tomorrow. WE COULD HAVE NEW CARPET TOMORROW, MOMMY!!
I knew we had a problem the day he spilled something on his shirt and wouldn’t let me throw it in the laundry. He was positively insistent that we would take it to Grandma’s house because Grandma has Oxiclean and she can get the stain out. I kid you not. We actually took the shirt to Grandma so she could wash it with her Oxiclean.
I’m thinking of signing him up for Amway. I think he could be really successful. He’s got the whole cuteness factor going for him; his mind is like a sponge, so he can remember useless trivia about his products; he sees the need for ALL these products; and he’s persistent – he doesn’t take, “No” for an answer. I know child labor laws prohibit me from actually getting him a job at this age, but I’m not sure they apply to a child who starts his own business. I think it’s a golden opportunity.
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