If I don’t stop talking about it, might it go away?
If I don’t think about it, does it still exist?
If I don’t feel anything when I think about it, will it still hurt?
If I don’t believe, can it even work?
IVF.
Again.
November 29(ish), 2009.
New protocol.
New drug.
More shots.
Then it will be over.
What will be left?
Who will I be when I don’t do this anymore?
Praying that the what-ifs will be about how many babies are cooking and not any of the negative things.
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Iced Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies =-.
Like Lisa, I hope you will be a mom of a new baby when this is all over. But Heidi, your post made me cry. Even if you are not pregnant after IVF, you will still be a wonderful, kind, sweet person. There will be mourning, surely, but it feels like you are already mourning before this has come to pass. I just want to reach through the computer and hug you tight.
Actually, Ray and I were talking about you recently and I said that I wish I could offer you my uterus or eggs or whatever it is you need to make this happen.
You’ll be Heidi, wife, mother,daughter. The focus now is new protocol-that is good! I’m so glad that they have opted for a new protocol. My dr did the same protocol the second time as a “diagnostic” tool. The most expensive diagnostic test I’ve ever had!! Try to take it each day at a time-so easy to say, so NOT easy to do. I know it’s so hard, to be at this point where you’re facing this last chance. I’m sorry that you’re at this point. Thinking of you.
.-= RenovationGirl´s last blog ..Happy Birthday to Me! =-.