On Rango and other issues

So.

Rango.

Have you heard of it?

Gabe, an advertiser’s bonanza, has diligently requested to see the movie in the theatres since he saw the first advertisement as a trailer to the recent Yogi Bear movie. And because it’s currently being advertised AD NAUSEUM on every children’s tv station, I have been the recipient of AD NAUSEUM requests about going to see this outstanding lizard. What do they call him? The fastest lizard in the west or something like that?

Anyway, for a change of pace this evening we decided to surprise Gabe with a trip to the theatre for a little movie fun. The movies always seem so magical to me, possibly because we weren’t allowed to go to the movie theatre until I was something like 16 years old. But that’s another blog post for another day… probably more like another year! 😉

However, let me tell you – Rango is weird! And inappropriate! And scary! Tahd and I turned to each other about halfway through and just sort of quizzically stared at one another because it was less bizarre than staring at the screen. Also, there’s a snake in the movie, information which would have been helpful to me before I saw it. Snakes = me no likey. Gabe, on the other hand, loved it – the whole thing! Which I suppose makes the movie a success since it’s probably geared mostly for kids. I definitely did not. To the point that I had a tremendously difficult time holding my eyes open.

So I didn’t.

I leaned my head over onto Tahd and drifted off into sweet sleep.

You know how you cool down a bit while you go to sleep? The theatre was a little on the cool side to begin with and it had been raining a chilly drizzle outside, so it was a little hard to feel cozy while I dozed. Suddenly, I had what I considered to be a genius plan. I would lean up to the seat in front of me and pick up my coat so I could use it as a blanket. Which is exactly what I did. I sat up, leaned forward, reached my hands over the seat in front of me and reached for my coat.

Except my coat wasn’t there. I had taken it off once I was seated and it was safely stored beneath my derriere.

Another lady’s head was, though.

Yes. In the middle of the movie I reached forward and grabbed the head of the woman in front of me. Can you imagine being that woman??? Quietly watching the movie with your child only to have the top of your head suddenly and unceremoniously grabbed by a stranger?

Instantly mortified, I immediately apologized to the woman, not knowing what to say. I mean, it wasn’t like I could feign accident! I had to lean forward and over the seat in front of me with both hands and attempt to pick her up BY THE HEAD. It’s not like you could accidentally bump into someone in that way. Seriously – I wanted to die, or at least melt into my own seat and disappear! She, thankfully, was very gracious and turned her attention back to her child and the movie.

Not me, though. I spent the rest of the movie fully awake, laughing nervously but uncontrollably in the seat behind her. Thankfully she left immediately as the movie ended – probably to avoid the crazy woman who assaulted her head – and I didn’t have to face her on the way out. But I still haven’t quite gotten over it. Definitely ranks up there as one of my most embarrassing life moments ever.

So my recommendations are two-fold. One, skip Rango. It sucks. Two, don’t try to pick people up by the head. Especially strangers. Especially in the dark.