So How Long Can This Last?

We got almost entirely packed yesterday which was quite a relief as I had *lists* of what to pack except no actual packing done.  Yay!

But by about 5:00 last night a switch flipped and Crazy Heidi took over complete control of my brain.  I’m snappy and impatient and – most importantly – insane.  You guys, I am washing 8 loads of CLEAN laundry.  Because I didn’t like the way Tahd did it.  His error?  Including 1/2 a dryer sheet instead of a whole dryer sheet.

Oh, the horror!

Which led to me getting confused over which laundry was the staticky laundry (um, hello?  if you can’t tell if it’s staticky it’s probably ok!) and pulling all sorts of clean laundry out of the baskets AND then the closets.  Then I combined it with the dirty laundry and sorted it all out by color.  Because of the combining there’s no going back – it’s not like I can regain my sanity and just put the clean laundry away and call it a day.  And then I hauled baskets and baskets of laundry to the basement, cursing the whole way.  Which is only noteworthy because the last time I hauled baskets of laundry anywhere was before I was pregnant. I have lifted nothing more than a few pounds in the last 9ish months.  So you have to know how motivated I was by the horrible static…

And then I realized how crazy I was but how much I couldn’t stop being crazy and how angry I was about the laundry and I just had to scream.  I hollered in a weak attempt to get it all out.  I was alone at the time so it wasn’t like I was screaming at anyone, which is at least some consolation.  But following the hollering I started crying because I panicked that my yelling could hurt the baby, or at least scare her. And then I kept crying because I just want to have this baby on the outside so I can make sure she’s okay, for today and forever, and how dare I let a little thing like laundry make me scream and freak out my child.  This is it – the moment at which her future need for therapy will have begun.

Oh, and I considered cutting my own hair this morning because it’s driving me nuts.  Apparently I had a moment of sanity, though, and restrained myself.  I can’t imagine that scenario ending in any sort of positive way.

The doctors say they’ll probably let me stay pregnant until around 41 weeks.  So at most I’ll be this crazy for 3 1/2 more weeks, right?  It won’t last forever.

Will it?

Please – DEAR GOD!!! – let me be more sane once I have this baby!