Six months after our failed IVF with no hope to do it again and little more than a flicker of hope of expanding our family, waves of heartache washed over me while I hung our three red and green velvet Pottery Barn stockings on our mantle in 2009. This, I thought, is what Christmases are destined to be like for us forever…
Quiet. Small. Lonely.
No full mantles of stockings. No siblings conspiring with each other to get Dad and Mom out of bed earlier on Christmas morning. Years later, no grandchildren eager to visit their cousins at Grandma’s house. No eager waiting for housefuls of family to arrive for the holidays.
I tried to comfort myself with thoughts that three could be just as fun as a houseful in a different way, but my heart still whispered of the void I felt from our infertility and the family I’d hoped to build.
I could never have imagined that four years from then I’d be hanging six stockings on our mantle, hearts and arms overflowing with love and hope and babies.
This Christmas was a dream come true!
Not because of the presents or food or festivities – although all those things have been wonderful – but because our hearts have been filled in ways we previously thought impossible.
I hope your Christmas was filled with the same joy!
But if it wasn’t – if you’re still in the midst of hopelessness and heartache, I pray 2014 brings you blessings of more abundance than you could even dare to imagine right now.
Merry Christmas from us to you!