I had an epiphany this weekend. I realized I’m trying to do two things–keep up with everything in the “Standard American Dream” as well as carve a simpler, more purposeful path. This was a total face/palm moment. I mean, what the heck? How can one person subscribe to two entirely divergent philosophies at the same time?
I’ll tell you how…anxiety! 😉 Trying to do two opposing things at the same time is a perfect recipe for anxiety. It’s also a perfect recipe for getting nothing done, since when I’m anxious I become inert.
Take Saturday night, for instance. What I really wanted to do was hang out on the couch with Tahd and either read or watch a movie. What did we do instead? Spun my wheels, got anxious about the passing of time, accomplished dribs and drabs of small portions of little tasks, and felt irritated that I never get a chance to relax. Martyr much?
I don’t relax much. This is, perhaps, a valid problem. I go from taking care of the kids all day to dinner chaos to bedtimes, at which point I spend the rest of 50% of my evenings working at an actual job. The other evenings, I try to get caught up on writing and random other projects. A night of movie watching occasionally wouldn’t be unreasonable. Probably should have just shut off the computer and gave in to the urge!
I have gotten a bit done. From my master list:
- Picked out all the gallery photos, uploaded them to Shutterfly. Will place the order later tonight or tomorrow.
- Took down the old decor in the living room so I can paint and then decide what to hang instead.
- Ordered photos for my nephew’s happy mail package
Nothing new on the patio, which was my big hope for the weekend. I should take pictures of these things so I can document the progress.
Recipe for this week:
- not have crazy opposing expectations
- actually do something on the patio
and maybe…
- quick finish off everything else…
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