April. It’s April. When did that happen? I’m pretty sure I still have a stray Christmas decoration or two floating around my house. In fact, “pretty sure” is a euphemism for “certain” that I actually have a stray Christmas decoration on the shelf in my bedroom from Christmas 2015 that I never got around to putting away. I wish I were exaggerating to make a funnier story, but I’m not.
Do you ever find yourself thinking, When we just get through X, things will settle down and I’ll finally be able to Y? For me, X can be any number of things–the terrible twos, Tahd’s next trip, the holiday season, the end of the school year, the rest of summer break…I find myself almost addicted to having those finish lines in sight. Like a runner in an important race, having an end on the horizon gives me an energy boost that propels me a little harder toward the prize–the rest and accomplishment at the end.
Around the beginning of February, I found myself plotting out plans for the rest of the year–nothing major, just a filling in of the calendar, really. Phew, okay! Time to get this calendar under control! And as I filled in the dates, there it was…When we just get through summer and into fall, we’ll be able to put our heads down and make some progress! And suddenly, the absurdity of that statement struck me.
When we just get through summer? But we’ve hadn’t even started spring yet!
To be sure, Tahd started a new job this year and his schedule changes are an adjustment. Yes, this is our first year of homeschooling and we’re still trying to find our groove. Yes, there’s the possibility of a surgery (not emergency, more later) on the horizon. Yes, the upcoming summer season will mean a whole host of changes to our schedules and daily routines. But am I really prepared to put life on hold until I get to the “normal” months of fall? And once I get there, what then? We’ll have September and October of “normalcy” followed by the welcome chaos of the holiday season.
Here I’ve been sitting, waiting for normal so I can carve out space to get the important things done. But I think I’ve been wrong all along. Because this life, messy and busy and nothing neatly organized, is my normal.
Messy. Crazy. Beautiful. And normal.
I’m putting off the most important things for a period that’s never going to come. And the opportunities for those “most important things” could easily pass me by while I’m waiting for the “right” time.
How about you? Do you find that you put off the things that matter to you because life seems too crazy? Or have you found ways to push through the chaos to get to the meat of the important things of life? I’d love to hear more about how you’ve wrestled with this task, whether you’re a mom or not!