Let

I know most people start their New Year’s resolutions on January 1, but I’m more a January 2 sort of girl. The first just comes with so much pressure to start well and get it right, which doesn’t go well with being exhausted from staying up the night before. So my January 1 pattern is to eat my junk food and enjoy my chocolate and sit inactively on the couch. But January 2? Look out. I’m coming in like a lion.

Or something. 😉

Which makes today’s choice all the more perplexing, because I scheduled some bright and early dental work. Welcome, 2018! Here, let me fill a few holes in your teeth in your honor?

Ugh.

I hate dental work. I have so much dental anxiety, which isn’t to say it’s my dentist’s fault. I actually really love my dentist. But sitting in that chair…the whine of the drill…the tugging and prodding and tap tap tapping…it makes my toes curl and I have to actively remind myself to take breaths. Like, every breath. I’d hold my breath the entire time I was there if I could.  This isn’t exactly the most uplifting way to start my year.

But in another sense, it seemed like a good way to start the year–to eat the frog, so to speak. Do the hard thing first. Push through. Get it over with. Wouldn’t it be nice if getting my teeth drilled were the hardest thing I had to do this year? My anxiety is high even asking that question. Quick! Let me find some wood on which to knock!

I was listening to a podcast this week (love this show so, so much!) where she talked about a verse in Colossians 3:

“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body.” ~ verse 15

Did you see it–that little, pivotal word in there? I’ve seen this verse a hundred times and never noticed what Emily said about it:

“God offers his peace to act as your umpire, to release you from having to keep it together. Your only job?

Let him.

Receive the peace that belongs to you. It is not an easy thing to do, to quiet the voices of fear and shame and hurry — but the peace of Christ will stand between you and everything else.

You have the letting power.”

If you look at the rest of the larger passage, it’s all about things to do–put on compassionate hearts, put on patience, put on love, forgive each other, and so on. But this one little blip in the middle is all about letting. I have the peace if I will let.

2017 didn’t go how I expected. Nothing terrible happened, but it was harder than usual and there was little sense of gentleness or ease. My word for 2018 is “action” because I want to focus on some goals that have repeatedly pushed to the bottom of the barrel–things like my health, writing, and several relationships.  It’s hard to break old patterns. It’s hard to move from inertia to…what? Ertia? 😉

How do I let? I like what it says in the Amplified version. Bolding is mine:

Let the peace of Christ [the inner calm of one who walks daily with Him] be the controlling factor in your hearts [deciding and settling questions that arise].

It doesn’t directly tell how, but I think that must become apparent through the “walks daily with Him” portion, something I didn’t do with any consistency during 2017. Faith is one of these action areas on which I want to focus in 2018, and I’d decided that before I’d listened to this podcast or read these verses. But now that I have, I’m really looking forward to growing this portion of my faith, the letting portion. The peace of God portion. I need this now more than ever.

And just because I know these two things get wrapped up in churchy, trite ways, let me say this: I still have anxiety. I still take anxiety medication. I don’t expect the peace of God to fix my emotional and mental health anymore than I expect to pray my vision back to uncorrected 20/20, although I believe either thing is within the realm of God’s possibility. No, I think God’s peace can coincide with anxiety. They’re not mutually exclusive. I can LET my anxiety run away with itself and crowd out God’s peace, or I can hold one in each hand, LETTING God’s peace be the counterweight to my anxiety.

Looking forward to exploring this concept of letting more in 2018. What are you looking forward to?

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