O Tannenbaum…

You know what? My Christmas tree is still up.

There. I said it.

It’s January 20 and my Christmas tree is up and instead of taking it down I’m sitting here writing a blog post. Because OF COURSE. This is only after I spent about 30 minutes surfing through Netflix trying to find something “just so” to put on tv – something that was both interesting but could play in the background and I wouldn’t miss if I got absorbed in something else.

FYI – that doesn’t really exist. Either it’s interesting and I want to watch it or it’s lame and I might as well turn off the tv and save the electricity. So (after about 10 more minutes) I settled on an instrumental playlist on Spotify, and here I am! Ready to write so I can continue avoiding taking down my Christmas tree!

Would anyone guess that my word of the year is action? No? lol

(Side note…wouldn’t you know it! UPS just showed up at my house with a package, so of course I had to stop what I was doing and check out the contents. More avoidance of my to-do list FTW!)

Lately, the thing is that my soul is moving slowly while my life feels like it’s moving at a breakneck pace. Gabe is 13, a teenager. Isla is 6.  Six! Tahd and I have been together for 20 years. I’m turning 40 in a week. I noticed I’ve started pulling text with fine print farther away from my eyes so I can see it more clearly.

(I’m pretending that last one is all in my head. Here’s a picture of Isla turning 6 to distract me…It totally cracks me up, and I CAN SEE IT JUST FINE.)

Sometimes (i.e. usually) it feels like time is running out and I have practically one foot in the grave, which I know logically is not true. But everything in life just keeps going faster and faster all while the little voice within me screams, “SLOW THE HELL DOWN!!!!” If each successive decade keeps picking up as much pace as my 30s have, I’m going to blink about three times and find myself 90.

Does anyone else feel the same? And did anyone else find it came on suddenly, or at least suddenly reached a new level of urgency? Is this what “midlife crisis” means? 😉

So I dubbed this the year of action, not because I want to lean into the frantic sense of time scarcity, but because I don’t want to waste time. I’m choosing to believe that I have enough time to do the things tucked inside my heart and dreams. What I don’t have is time to fritter away on the inaction that comes from endless planning, circular worry, and loops of Netflix.

Except The Crown. Did you watch The Crown? So good! Watch Victoria next if you haven’t. I liked that almost as much.

With all that said, I think it’s time for me to get to work on that tree. I’ve put it off long enough, right? Time to take action.

Here I go…

Really…

<trudge>

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