Starting School

It is the last day of July.

The LAST day of JULY!!!

That means tomorrow is the first day of August.  I know, I know.  I’m on fire here!

But the first day of August means that the next time the month turns, Gabe will be starting school.  My BABY is starting SCHOOL!

For the most part, he and I have felt like this about the beginning of school:

Lately, he’s been feeling a little more like this:

I, however? Still feel like this:

We dislike the district in which we live. We knew this when we bought our house, but the plan was to live in this house for a few years and move to another more permament location once we had built up some equity.  Oh, how things change!  lol  The condition of the market coupled by our infertility and the condition of our finances have meant we’re staying put.  This delights my heart to no end.  This home is quickly becoming a contender for “places I’ve lived the longest.”  I like that trend.

The trend, however, has made for some headaches when considering Gabe’s schooling options.  Because of my experiences as a teacher, I do not find myself aligned with the general philosophy and trends in public education.  There are many, many wonderful people working in the public school system, pouring their lives out to educate children.  My issue is not with the people.  It is truly with the culture – all the No Child Left Behind stuff and other related factors that (in my very humble opinion) cause public school employees to have to be equally or more concerned about dotting i’s and crossing t’s as they have to be concerned about educating children.  Since my experience as a teacher, we’ve always wanted to send our children to private school.  Recall the issue of finances mentioned above, however, and you’ll know that private school tuition would be no small burden.

Our state has a program called “Open Enrollment.”  Basically, you can apply to enroll your child in up to 3 nonresident districts.  If your home district and the new district agree, your child can attend school in the nonresident district.  The catch, however, is that it’s contingent upon space issues, and since many people apply, not everyone gets to switch.  This was our situation – we applied to three different districts we felt were less objectionable than the district in which we lived, but we didn’t get accepted to any of them due to space constraints.  This disappointed us for financial reasons, but it also disappointed me because I had begun to warm up to several of the schools to which we applied.  They weren’t my first choices, but they did seem to be reasonably solid schools I could trust.

Along the way, we had also found a small, private Montessori school.  All of us loved it – even Gabe, which impressed and comforted me to no end.  This was our first choice due to philosophy but definitely our second choice due to finances.  When the open enrollment option was denied, it became our first choice since we were not considering our resident district as an option at all.  It seemed settled – Gabe would attend the Montessori school this year and we would continue pursuing open enrollment options in subsequent years.

Because Gabe has typically screamed and cried when anyone mentioned him going to school, I’ve been working overtime to help him acclimate mentally to the idea of going to school.  Some would say that perhaps he was so hesitant about going to school because I was hesitant about sending him.  It could be, but I really don’t think so.  I’ve spent a lot of time “talking up” the school experience, and both my sisters are school teachers and have talked with him about it.  He has even visited their classrooms and had a great time while there, but it has never made a difference.  For years – since he was 3, I believe – he has consistently protested and sobbed about school.

This summer I finally got him to a point where he was moderately tolerant of the idea of going.  Enthusiastic, no.  But tolerant.  It doesn’t embarrass me to say this was because I issued a straight-up bribe.  I asked him if he’d be more excited about going to school if he knew he’d have a present waiting for him when he came home from his first day.  At this, his eyes twinkled – just a little – and he hasn’t cried since then.

Phew.

We also talked about how he’d only be gone for half the day, how he’d still have plenty of time to play at home, and how he’d be able to get up in time to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse before we left for school – all winners to him.  I thought we were on the right path.

Imagine my horror this week -when I received notification that one of the open enrollment schools had availability.  After all the intensity of our “preparing-for-school” experience, I felt ill at the thought of undoing what we seemed to have accomplished.  However, given the financial issues – and the fact that he can stay in this school until 8th grade – I knew there was no alternative.  He needed to attend this school.  While he might not find our experiences in early September to be very fun, the security he’ll have over the long-term will serve him well.

I started retracting my former statements about the Montessori school and replacing them with information about his new school… Yes, he’ll be gone longer, but he’ll get to take a LUNCHBOX!!! Lunch at school – WHEE!!!  And he’ll go outside to play on a BIG playground for RECESS!!! Oh, the joy!  I still haven’t expressly told him that he’ll be gone most of the day, and I haven’t told him this school doesn’t have the same map puzzles the Montessori school had.  But I’ve covered the basics.  And shockingly, he seems okay!

I don’t know what changed, why he’s resisting less.  I’m certainly not complaining, but I am curious.  It may have had something to do with the fact that he got to shop for his backpack and lunchbox.  Maybe it had to do with the fact that one of my sisters told him she’d be starting at a new school this year, also, so they’d be just the same.  Maybe it was the trip to the school we took today to look around and drop off our official acceptance letter.  I don’t know why, but I’m holding my breath all the way to September 1st that this trend will continue and he’ll start school with a positive, hopeful attitude.

Goodness only know if I exhale before his first day, I’m going to dissolve in a big heap of motherly, “my-baby’s-growing-up” tears!