It’s Going To Be Alright ~ Sara Groves

It’s going to be alright
It’s going to be alright

I can tell by your eyes that you’re not getting any sleep
And you try to rise above it, but feel you’re sinking in too deep
Oh, oh I believe, I believe that

It’s going to be alright
It’s going to be alright

I believe you’ll outlive this pain in you heart
And you’ll gain such a strength from what is tearing you apart
Oh, oh I believe I believe that

It’s going to be alright
It’s going to be alright

When some time has past us, and the story if retold
It will mirror the strength and the courage in your soul
Oh, oh, I believe I believe,

I believe
I believe

I did not come here to offer you clichÈ’s
I will not pretend to know of all your pain
Just when you cannot, then I will hold out faith, for you

It’s going to be alright
It’s going to be alright

Two Posts

I’ve been working on a post on why I think I might have gotten pregnant this particular month instead of the 54ish other months we tried. Short answer? I don’t know. The long answer will follow…

However, while I work up the courage to pull the trigger on that post and while I wait for Tahd to come home with my most recent craving (i.e. the only thing I think I can stomach at the moment, aka frozen pizza), I want to share these two posts.  I read them both today and they spoke to me.  It’s entirely possible that I’m immensely hormonal and otherwise affected by things that aren’t that impactful, but I don’t think that’s the case here.  I think these are important thoughts.

Up first?  The Bloggess.  A post about which she wrote on Twitter, “Sometimes it’s harder to say “I love you”. But it’s always better.”  So. True. And a good reminder for me, a person who can get wound up in perceived injustices and lose the point. You may or may not agree with the “cause” she discusses, but it doesn’t really matter.  The message stays the same and is important no matter what.

Second, The Creative Mama.  Do you ever feel like you can’t accomplish much because you don’t have the latest and greatest?  Or that you’re not as relevant because you’re not as current as the next guy?  Although this was a post primarily about photography, I loved it – not because I’m a budding photographer, but because I apply that sort of thinking in so many areas of my life.  I can’t accomplish this because I don’t have that.  I might as well not even start here because I haven’t figured out over there.  What about taking what we have – what we are already blessed with it – and just being beautiful with it?

Before concluding, I have to say this in the interest of full disclosure.  In the time it took me to write this post, my husband got my list of two pizzas and went to the grocery store and came back.  And is currently returning to said store because he bought one type but I really wanted the other kind of pizza.  I tried to tell him it was fine but he could see it on my face – I really wanted the other pizza.

I have the best husband ever! And that’s the truth!

Baby Steps

I’ve been working on it, these baby steps to happiness.

Step One – Win the lottery.

Step Two – Wear a size 2.

Step Three –

Wait… I think I’m looking at the wrong list!

No, I’m thinking more about my “fake it ’til you make it” strategy, and plan which is in full force.

Step One – Light!

I couldn’t take it.  I just couldn’t take it anymore.  Our house felt like a cave.  So I tore open the shutters and threw up the sash took down some curtains and opened the drapes.  Now the windows look kind of funny and it sounds a little hollow in here, but it’s much, much brighter.  And – I’m hoping – much, much happier!

Step Two – Affirmations

Several years ago I purchased a small packet of daily affirmations.  They’re not magical or disarmingly powerful.  They’re simple. Comforting.  True.  However, three years on the same pack of 25 affirmations and I think I need some new cards!  I’ve decided to make my own and will be adding these affirmations to my stack.  But if you have other thoughts, I’d love to have more!

Happiness is just around the corner.

Acknowledge the emotions lying beneath the surface.

Take a deep breath. Inhale the goodness of creation.

Hidden in your nagging weaknesses are seeds of strength.

It’s going to be alright.

Revel in the mundane.

You are capable of more than you could ever imagine.

No moment is more precious than this moment.

Step Three – Music

Although I love music, I find I’m often overwhelmed by extraneous noises.  So I don’t typically listen to music.  Add to the mix a 5-year-old and I find I get really overwhelmed by noise.  There’s a lot of it around my house!  Lately, however, I’ve been creating calming playlists and playing them when Gabe is busy or when it’s nap time or bedtime.  I’ve also been making an effort to choose music above tv when I’m not particularly invested in the television program at hand.  Unfortunately, I seem to be invested in a lot of television programs.  Perhaps I’ll have to address that issue later.  But certainly not in the same time period as The Olympics, the season finale of The Bachelor, Dancing With the Stars, and Jason and Molly’s wedding.

Step Four – Inspiration

I stumbled onto this blog recently.  Specifically, I stumbled onto the birth story of her newest daughter, Nella.  To say it took my breath away would be an understatement.  Truly, it even took Tahd’s breath away.  Read it.  It’s worth it.   I love this blog.

One of her recent posts talked about how every day she gets up and tells herself she’s a rockstar and spends the day trying to embody the rockstar mentality.  She said:

My sister says picture a person who models what you’re going through exactly how you’d want a role model to show it. Then become that person.

Rockstars, they hold no allure to me.  But the idea of a role model stood out to me, and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.  For a while I thought about real-life role models.  I’m blessed with many – my mother, my sisters, my grandmothers, several wise women I’m blessed to know… In the end, however, I decided a real-life role model felt like too much pressure.  As much as I need something inspiring and substantial, I also need something light and fun and unrealistic.  It is too easy to compare myself to a real-life person and begin to feel down and disappointing.  I need inspiration that keeps me distant from my tendency to criticize myself!

As such, I decided I wanted to look for a famous role model.  I’m looking for someone who’s inspiring, who is a great mom, who soaks up life and has a super fun time, who is pretty on top of things/successful, someone who seems to take care of herself, someone who projects a really happy persona.  So far, I’ve thought of (or had suggested to me) Maya Angelou, JK Rowling, Stephanie Meyer, the mom on Caillou, the Dalai Lama, and my two personal favorites, Jennifer Garner and Kelly Ripa.  I actually woke up this morning and thought “What would Kelly Ripa do?” And I knew she’d be flying around the house with laundry that folds itself and cookies that bake themselves and land on my child’s plate like they do in the Electrolux commercial.  I’ll let you know if that ever works out for me.  But I’m looking for other suggestions.  Who would be a fun, inspiring famous role model?

Step Five – Organization

I’m going to work on a post with more details about this.  I made some printables that I thought I could share in case, too.  This is a holdover from my teaching days.  I love packets.  Love packets.  There is nothing like a 15 page packet printed front and back and freshly stapled.  Yum!

I digress… Anyway, hopefully tomorrow I’ll have more details about my organization plan.  I’ve tried these in the past and never stick to them.  But right now?  Right now my plan is making me smile, and that’s all that matters in this moment.

Step Six – Study

I haven’t started step six yet.  Step six makes me curious, and curiosity keeps me engaged.  Engagement makes me happy, so I’m thinking this should help.

When I set my New Year’s goals this year, I decided I wanted to attempt to read the entire Bible.  Note – I’ve set this goal many other times in the past and have yet to achieve success.  So we’ll see how far I get.  Currently I’m working on the Chronological Reading Plan listed on YouVersion’s website, a plan that takes you through the Bible based on when each book was likely written rather than the order in which the books are typically placed in the Bible.  It’s pretty reasonable so far – only a few chapters a day.  But as expected, I’m woefully behind.

I was reading in Genesis – I can’t remember exactly where – and found a short story about a person who was infertile.  It might have been Abraham and Sarah or it might have been someone else.  For some reason it struck me: the Bible is full of people who were infertile.  Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Hannah, Manoah’s wife, Michal, the Shunamite woman, Elisabeth…  This intrigues me.  There are greater problems the Bible spends less time discussing.  I want to know more.  I need to investigate.

Step Seven – Showering

Yeah, showers of the soap and water variety.  Here’s my secret.  The more depressed I get the more of a chore it is to shower.  Or get myself ready for the day.  Or get out of pyjamas.  Several weeks ago I went 10 days wearing the same pair of pyjama pants, taking them off only long enough to run to the store or clean myself up a little bit.  My hair went uncombed.  My face went without makeup (which, I have to say, hasn’t seemed to have done my pimple problem any good!!!!).  My laundry went undone.  Coming from the girl who has shaved her legs and applied makeup every single day for years, this is a dramatic change, one that doesn’t seem to do me any favors.

So I’m making an effort.  I don’t have to do everything, but I have to do something.  If I want to wear pyjamas, I’m making myself put on clean pyjamas.  I don’t have to style my hair, but I do have to comb it.  And showers?  They’re on a strict schedule.  No swaying.  I feel a thousand times better when I’m clean and dressed, and it is entirely within my control to get myself into that condition each day.

Step Eight – Health

Early in our marriage, I became ill and was eventually diagnosed with several things, one of which was Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  I know many people consider this a fictitious illness.  But after having been diagnosed with it, I can assure you it is not fake.  Complicated and erratic, yes.  Fake, no.  My doctor told me that only approximately 50% of people get well, and of those who recover the vast majority will recover within the first 12 months.  Thus, in my mind I had a deadline – 12 months to figure out how I got sick and what I needed to do to fix it.

I was tossed around to several doctors and eventually stumbled into a program through a doctor in Annapolis, Maryland.  This doctor, Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum, was in the midst of studying CFIDS (the more technical name for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome – Chronic Fatigue and Immune Dysfunction Syndrome) and was having relative success with a protocol that has later been labeled the SHINE protocol.  My local doctor was open-minded and supportive and helped me work through several elements of his program.  To my pleasant surprise, I got lucky and recovered.

Although I don’t think I’m currently dealing with a reactivation of that illness, I do think my current experience often mirrors the symptoms from my prior experience.  As such, I decided to revisit his plan and start implementing the most critical pieces.  For me, this means some lifestyle adjustments and supplements – lots and lots of supplements.  I was pleased to see that since I went through the program initially there has been new research on a particular supplement (d-ribose) and it has shown incredible promise with people who deal with fatigue.

Hopefully over the next six to eight weeks I’ll know of I’m on the right path with these health changes.  If you are a person who deals with CFIDS, Fibromyalgia, or just general fatigue, exhaustion, or a less-than-effective immune system, I’d encourage you to check this out.  There are many things you can do – free things or over-the-counter things – to help yourself feel better.

So that’s my plan, at least at this moment.  I love having plans.  I’m not always great with execution, but this one has developed more organically and feels right.  The steps are little enough (shower more often, anyone?) and fun enough that hopefully I’ll stay on track, at least as long as I need to.

But to refresh, I’d love your input on two things.  First, I welcome any brief affirmations I can add to my stack of affirmations.  Second, if you can think of any inspiring females, I’d love to add them to my list so I can select a role model or two!

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