Two things have been eating at me lately. Not just nibbling at me, but E A T I N G at me.
One’s a big deal, but it’s a long running problem with no quick solutions, so my urgent anger produces nothing other than hot air and pent-up frustration. The other is a little deal, a little inequity in a customer service situation, nothing a few deep breaths shouldn’t handle. And yet, here I sit, steaming. I’ve been steaming for days. Truthfully, I’ve been a little anxious that I’ve been so steamy, not understanding the sudden urgency.
Motherhood feels like the trenches lately, a moody tween and a teething baby adding chaos to a space that already lacked calm to begin with. I realized tonight that my unresolved anger from the prior situations was really displaced frustration from not knowing how to handle these closest-to-my-heart situations. I’m pretty sure Freud just winked at me from his grave.
You know my stolen camera? In a shocking twist of events, it came home. I’m not even joking! The museum lady said – and I directly quote, “They [the person who took it] said they found it on a bench in the Skyline exhibit, and I don’t know why they chose to leave the museum with it, but they came back to turn it in and we have it here for you.”
I tried to give the benefit of the doubt. Although I’m quite certain they couldn’t have mistaken it for their own since it has a bright yellow strap on it, and it’s very distinct, I thought maybe it was a person who saw the camera, thought it was unattended, picked it up and intended to turn it in. But, amidst the chaos of the day with their own kids, they forgot they had the camera to turn in until later, when they returned with it.
Then I got the camera back. The screen had been flipped, the back of which sports a new scratch, the battery had been drained, the onboard menu had been changed, and the mode dial had been turned, something you can’t do unless you press a button and turn the dial at the same time. Would you use something you found and thought another family had lost? I wouldn’t, never in a thousand years!
Oh, and they also left their name and phone number. How kind. Color me jaded, but I think they either stole it and had a change of heart, or took it with the intent to try to collect reward money. But it really doesn’t matter, because it’s home now and it still works and I might kiss it and sleep with it under my pillow for a few weeks in celebration.
Keeping right up with the times…The Good Wife. I’m so happy I found her! Especially since Amazon took The West Wing off Prime when I only had half of the last season to go. I might get Netflix (which apparently still has it) just so I can see how the series ends. But that might be excessive, since I could just read the show summaries online since the show is approximately 132 years old in internet years.
I’m going away next week to a conference. By myself. Which is super exciting, except I realized pretty late in the game that if I didn’t want to take Jude, I needed to pump, which I had stopped doing, so my freezer stash was a whopping 16 ounces when I started. I have now have 10 days to pump 60 more ounces, which is a near impossibility since a good day nets me about…oh, 2.5.
I see some formula in his future.
As well, I see two full nights of sleep in my future. Which makes the pumping and formula totally worth it.
And because it’s not a real blog post without a picture, here’s a picture I finally had time to edit last night. It’s from May. I’m not behind at all. We all still look exactly like this. Except the children have grown, my hair is curly, and Tahd has a beard. So, basically identical.