You know that feeling when you lay a bunch more bricks for your patio and think “Wow! I did a lot there!” And then you count up how many you laid and realize it was 20?
But…it was 20 more than were laid this morning, so that’s good.
In other news, I’ve been thinking that we’re getting something wrong in our life. We lead a pretty regular life. We have our struggles and stresses no doubt, but we’re pretty regular. How come we constantly feel like we’re on the brink of…um…total implosion? I ask Tahd this regularly. “We’re doing something wrong,” I tell him. “What is it? What are we missing?”
Today, out of nowhere, an answer came to me. In words. Which usually seems to mean God is directly telling me something. I’m guessing if I looked back on the handful of those occasions in my life, I’d find those “answer in words” moments were preceded by a long string of helpful whispers my direction which I didn’t notice. Apparently I’m not fluent in subtleties?
Anyway, the answer was, “Gratitude.” So simple! It was like an immediate “everything clicking.” Doh! Of course! How did I forget about gratitude???
It’s not that I’m ungrateful so much as it is I haven’t been choosing gratitude. I am thankful in a general sense, but perhaps the antidote to soul-crushing overwhelmedness over trivialities is purposeful gratitude, not just gratitude by happenstance.
So, starting now…I’m thankful I laid 20 bricks. I’m thankful I even had 20 bricks to lay. I’m thankful my children didn’t climb on, knock over, or throw the bricks. I’m thankful that one day–even if it’s a very, very long day off– we’ll have a patio, an entirely unnecessary but lovely thing for a human being to have.